Like how life is a bitch

Violin: After listening really closely to some recordings of Rabin and Dylan and some other stuff, I got even more displeased with my sound than I was before and decided to try other things. I tried listening really intently on the sound, trying to hear the overtones (which I still find to be impossible) and listening for anything I hadn't heard before. I tried all different kinds of vibrato and different bow holds, and it seems to me that there are basically three things that have been the bane of my existence - my first finger, middle finger, and thumb of my right hand. Maybe you could even take out the middle finger. This area seems to be where all of my remaining serious issues with comfort remain. There is some basic mechanism of movement, some coordinated motion that my fingers just aren't aware of, and must be discovered. I sometimes feel like my actual anatomy must be just fucked up and makes it impossible for me to bend my fingers in the right way, but I don't think that's true. I think I just need to keep working hard on finding something that works. Everything I have been doing up til now seems to be a constant illusion of achieved comfort, and not the real thing. Specific advances I made in this regard today include an alteration of the curvature of my first finger, which seems to aid in collapsing the knuckles, and a realization that the thumb is incredibly important in maintaining balance. Hopefully tomorrow will bring further improvements.

Life: Well tomorrow is the official launch day for the PS3, I'm not going to have one. I would have had to camp out for 2 days in what might possibly be the worst weather we have had all year. I am amazed at the people who are out there and have been for hour after cold and rainy hour. All this hysteria actually made me realize that I just need to get a real job, so I went and applied for a few. Making money slowly and legally is a lot easier, albeit less interesting, than get-rich-quick schemes of which I have been obsessed with for the past 5 years. You have to be lucky and have no life otherwise and/or be crazy to be successful without having a normal job. What a bummer.

Practice Time: 3 hours?