I hope it doesn't get old

Violin: So I think today was like Connection Monday. As I worked a relaxed hand frame into more and more music, I began to find a lot more little discomforts which I then tried to smooth out by trying to connect and integrate various parts of my arm. I got better at moving all the joints together, and all the bones together, but couldn't really mix the two of them. As soon as I concentrated on my palm and arm, my knuckles lost their flexibility. And if my knuckles and wrist and elbow were loose, my arm lost that unified feeling. I'm thinking now that I need to start thinking about how the shoulder and back fit into all of this as well. There are so many pieces and they all need to be working together. I found it important to remember to keep my middle finger knuckle connected since I habitually only think about the first finger. And my thumb continues to require attention. I still haven't quite figured out how to play chords comfortably, so something, or some things, are still missing. My hand always feel tight or strained as I get to the top of the chord. I can play now for a little longer without my hand stiffening, but it very quickly will return to an uncomfortable state, especially if left to its own devices. This may be the most difficult thing I have ever attempted to fix.

Life: I decided that my computer is most definitely old and outdated. I tried to install and run a game from 2004, and it barely got a framerate above like 10 fps. I'd love to get new parts or a new computer, but of course, that would just distract me from the subject of the first paragraph, and so I am torn. The hard thing about violin is that I never really feel like I deserve a break, or a reward, or something, since nothing is ever finished, per se, and you can always practice more. And then there is that high-minded side of me saying that I should engage in art for art's sake, for the greater glory of art, and so on, and if I'm doing it for the cookie at the end then I shouldn't be doing it at all. That's what all those quotes by famous artists make me feel like. When you decide to go into business or law you don't get anybody saying, You must sit at your desk for hours for the greater glory of sitting at your desk. Or at least I don't think you do. Oh well.

Practice Time: 5 hours (5+ hrs. streak Day 1)